Bleeding

It hurt. It hurt so fucking much.

“He’s fucking bleeding everywhere! Look at him!” Everything was bright. I couldn’t make out anything in amongst the giant flashes or red, orange and green.

“Yeah I’m well fucking aware Lauren, and you yelling and losing your shit is really fucking helping isn’t it?” The right side of my torso felt, hot, and sticky. Cold, delicate and shaky hands were placed over the part where it hurt the most.

“Mason, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry… but, but we’re going to fix you.” I didn’t know what I was trying to say, but it didn’t matter. It only came out as a low groan, barely above a whisper.

“Yeah, fucking apologize now you dumb bitch. Where’s my fucking apology?” I could almost still feel it inside me, twisting and destroying me.

“Where’s your fucking stab-wound you prick!” It happened quickly, I know that much. I remembered Lauren being close to me, then far away from me. Then everything was far away, and getting further still.

“Oh shit, Mason come on now.” Everything was slipping away, even the tender touch of those hands was starting to become nothing more than a memory, soon to be lost.  

“Oh god Mason, please!” It’s too much effort, hanging on like this.

“Mason! Wake up you … WAKE UP!” I didn’t want to come back, it hurt too much.

“What the fuck is happening? Is he dead?” It almost felt nice, slipping away like that.

“I don’t know.” All the problems, the pain, everything, just becoming more and more meaningless.

“Well fucking find out! I’m not going to go hell for fucking leather if I don’t have to.” Cold hands on my neck, searching for a pulse.

“No he’s alive, he’s just. Give me your jacket.” I knew it was wishful thinking, I’m what happens when certain death meets unmoving stubbornness.

“What? No, fuck you, what the fuck do you need it for?” I’d had worse than this, it didn’t even go that deep… I don’t think so at least.

“I need something to put on him to stop the bleeding, my hands are all bloody… just give me the fucking jacket!” Kind of hard to determine exactly how deeply you get stabbed.

“Fuck you, use your jacket.” It’s not exactly like there’s a measurement associated with it.

“I don’t have one! I lost it back there, just give me yours!” My hands were starting to shake uncontrollably.

“It won’t make a fucking difference.” I couldn’t see anything.

“Well then drive faster!” I was scared

“… Lauren.” I needed her. I blinked my eyes furiously so I could see her. She was blurry, but she was there, and her hands never left me. Her face was pale. Her hands were bloody.

“Mason! Jesus christ.” I looked down at the wound. It really was bad. “Don’t look at it alright? It’s… it’s gross.”

“Fuckin’ hell it hurts.” She wiped down my forehead, getting rid of the cold sweat, replacing it with equally cold blood. Odd how blood can run cold so quickly.

“I know sweetheart I know just…” She then took my hands in hers, and placed them over the still warm and sticky gash. “Just put your hands here okay? On top of mine.” She shouldn’t be doing this… her hands are too small and pretty. “There you go, now just push down.”

“There’s so much blood.”

“Try not to worry about it yeah? We…” The car lurched, sending me and Lauren crashing into the passenger side door. “Fisher what the fuck!?”

“The light was going to turn red, do you want me to fucking rush or not?” That motherfucker was always a shit driver at the best of times, in my car no less.

“Wait… where are we going?” These seats are never going to get clean.

“We’re going to Dereks, he’s good with shit like this.” I needed to hang on.

“DEREK?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I needed something to hang onto.

“Lauren.” She leans in close to me and whispers in my ear.

“I’m right here, I’m right here Mason. Don’t worry.” She was scared too.

“Where else can I fucking take him?” I didn’t want her to be scared.

“A hospital you dick!” I just need to breathe, that’s all.

“Oh you’re fucking… I swear to god Lauren.” It was getting so hard though.

“Turn the fucking car around and drive to the hospital now!”

The car slammed to a halt. Laurens touch grew more distant.

“Fisher what the hell is wrong with…”

“You don’t fucking tell me what to do okay? Not now not ever, not after that fucking stunt you just pulled. If we take him to the hospital, he’ll get thrown in prison, and us along with him, is that what you want?!” My life wasn’t in my hands. My battered, broken, bloodied hands.

“He needs help. Real, medical, help. Not some coked up prick with a fucking sewing needle!” Were Laurens hands really capable of holding it?

“No you shut your mouth! You shut your goddamn mouth right now! It is what you want, isn’t it?!” I needed to know. I tried to call to her.

“Lauren.” I couldn’t speak loudly enough, not over Fisher.

“You want both of us dead you fucking whore!” The door flung open. Fisher grabbed a fistful of her hair.

“Get off me, he needs help!” He dragged her out of the car, and her touch left me.

“Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” I could hear screams, and dull thuds. I tried to turn my head, and body. I couldn’t. I just stared at the ceiling of the car.

Everything was moist, and cold.

“I think… I think I’m dying.”